Monday, March 26, 2012
We're saved! Thanks, Darby
Darby got his hands on the garden hose and decided he wanted to play firefighter. If only the house's windows had been closed.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Casey explains it all
A week ago:
Erika, Casey, and I are sitting in the kitchen where Casey's explaining to us why he's been giving us trouble at bedtime lately. It's apparently because we're putting him to bed at times when he doesn't feel tired.
So why, I ask, do you also keep telling us at the same time that you're too tired to walk up the stairs on your own or to put on your pajamas or to brush your teeth?
Casey clearly realizes he's wandered into a logical trap, but he's not going down without a fight. But he also has no guile. So he tilts his head thoughtfully, screws up his face in concentration, and says, "Well ..."
I wait patiently, because I can already tell that whatever he says next is going on the web site.
Casey resumes a level head angle and begins, slowly and with hand gestures, "Here's the thing ..."
I really wish I knew what he said next, but after the thoughtful pause and the serious tone and the ridiculously precocious intro, I had to spend all my remaining mental energy trying to keep a straight face.
Tonight:
Casey and Darby are playing upstairs, but they're both sounding increasingly upset. Erika intervenes, and I can hear it from downstairs. Casey was playing with something, and Darby knocked it over. Erika calmed everyone down, but then I arrived just in time to see Casey knock it over.
"Casey!" Erika exclaimed. "Why did you do that? Just a minute ago you didn't want Darby knocking it over!"
Casey: "Well, once the frogs teleported ..."
Another occasion in which whatever he said that followed was eclipsed by his intro because Erika and I were incapacitated as soon as we made eye contact.
I mean, what can you say to that? Any explanation that includes teleporting frogs ... all you can do is shrug and let it go, right?
Erika, Casey, and I are sitting in the kitchen where Casey's explaining to us why he's been giving us trouble at bedtime lately. It's apparently because we're putting him to bed at times when he doesn't feel tired.
So why, I ask, do you also keep telling us at the same time that you're too tired to walk up the stairs on your own or to put on your pajamas or to brush your teeth?
Casey clearly realizes he's wandered into a logical trap, but he's not going down without a fight. But he also has no guile. So he tilts his head thoughtfully, screws up his face in concentration, and says, "Well ..."
I wait patiently, because I can already tell that whatever he says next is going on the web site.
Casey resumes a level head angle and begins, slowly and with hand gestures, "Here's the thing ..."
I really wish I knew what he said next, but after the thoughtful pause and the serious tone and the ridiculously precocious intro, I had to spend all my remaining mental energy trying to keep a straight face.
Tonight:
Casey and Darby are playing upstairs, but they're both sounding increasingly upset. Erika intervenes, and I can hear it from downstairs. Casey was playing with something, and Darby knocked it over. Erika calmed everyone down, but then I arrived just in time to see Casey knock it over.
"Casey!" Erika exclaimed. "Why did you do that? Just a minute ago you didn't want Darby knocking it over!"
Casey: "Well, once the frogs teleported ..."
Another occasion in which whatever he said that followed was eclipsed by his intro because Erika and I were incapacitated as soon as we made eye contact.
I mean, what can you say to that? Any explanation that includes teleporting frogs ... all you can do is shrug and let it go, right?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
March Madness Part 2
After collecting Casey's NCAA picks, it was Darby's turn.
First I asked if he wanted to pick Wisconsin because we live there, and he thought I was teasing him. "We don't live in Wisconsin!" Uh, yes we do, Darby. "No! We live in Cross Plains!" So I spent a little time this morning teaching him about cities and states. Apparently we tease him too much – he assumes we're kidding about everything. It took a little persistence to convince him we really did live in a place called Wisconsin (Casey backed me up, which helped). But then when I got back on subject and asked whether he liked Wisconsin or Vanderbilt, he said "Cross Plains." At that point I gave up and translated it to Wisconsin.
First I asked if he wanted to pick Wisconsin because we live there, and he thought I was teasing him. "We don't live in Wisconsin!" Uh, yes we do, Darby. "No! We live in Cross Plains!" So I spent a little time this morning teaching him about cities and states. Apparently we tease him too much – he assumes we're kidding about everything. It took a little persistence to convince him we really did live in a place called Wisconsin (Casey backed me up, which helped). But then when I got back on subject and asked whether he liked Wisconsin or Vanderbilt, he said "Cross Plains." At that point I gave up and translated it to Wisconsin.
Then Darby picked Georgetown to go all the way because he heard the word "George," and right now Curious George is the hottest trend in the house. He probably thinks Curious George is on the team. It's not the worst basis for picking an NCAA winner that I've heard of.
March Madness
I sit Casey down:
"OK, Casey, see, there's a big basketball contest that starts today. And Grandma and I run ... well, it's called a basketball pool, and what you do is you pick who you think is going to win in a bunch of basketball games, and whoever guesses right wins. So I'm going to tell you the names of some basketball teams, and you're going to try to guess the winners, OK?"
Casey, who's been staring at me with wide eyes throughout this whole explanation, looks thoughtful for a moment. He also seems hesitant and skeptical.
"Well ... OK ... but I don't think I'm very good at playing basketball in the water. But I'm good at playing basketball on land."
He got more into the spirit of the thing once I explained it wasn't that kind of pool.
"OK, Casey, see, there's a big basketball contest that starts today. And Grandma and I run ... well, it's called a basketball pool, and what you do is you pick who you think is going to win in a bunch of basketball games, and whoever guesses right wins. So I'm going to tell you the names of some basketball teams, and you're going to try to guess the winners, OK?"
Casey, who's been staring at me with wide eyes throughout this whole explanation, looks thoughtful for a moment. He also seems hesitant and skeptical.
"Well ... OK ... but I don't think I'm very good at playing basketball in the water. But I'm good at playing basketball on land."
He got more into the spirit of the thing once I explained it wasn't that kind of pool.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Advice
All right, this has nothing to do with the kids for a change, but this has been cracking me up for long enough that I need to write it down.
Over lunch at work one day, with no preamble, a colleague blurts, "Chris, I'm losing my hair, what do I do?"
Why would anyone look at me and think I had an answer to that question?
Over lunch at work one day, with no preamble, a colleague blurts, "Chris, I'm losing my hair, what do I do?"
Why would anyone look at me and think I had an answer to that question?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Also, grass is green
An anguished Casey, immediately following a taste of discipline:
I wish everything would go my way!No kidding, pal.
Blame
Darby: Daddy, somebody made a mess, and you have to clean it up.
Chris: "Somebody" made a mess?
Darby: Yes.
Chris: Did you make a mess?
Darby: Yes.
Chris: "Somebody" made a mess?
Darby: Yes.
Chris: Did you make a mess?
Darby: Yes.
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