Stepping up his game

I should write here more, obviously, but it's been hard. For a long time. Life, man. But I gotta admit, Darby's doing his best to smoke me out.

Casey and Darby are both playing soccer this summer, but Darby gets special mention because it's his very first season. Also because, incredibly, he's one of the stars of his team. If you don't want to hear a father gush about his 4-year-old son trying soccer for the first time, bail out now. With my blessing. Because *puke*, who wants to listen to that? I totally understand. But I've got to write it down because Darby deserves it and because I want to remember this later.

From the beginning, Darby's brought excellent levels of focus and effort. Just another kid pounding ineffectually at the ball, though. Until a few practices ago, when the kids were in their customary scrimmage with one of the other teams to close out the night. Halfway through the game, Darby kicked the ball out of the scrum, jumped after it through a gap in the crowd, and just took off. He ran half the field with both teams trying to steal the ball away — 4-year-olds don't pass, so there's only one way to acquire the ball — but he shrugged it all off, kept his speed up, and carried it easily into the goal.

I was shocked. That play came out of nowhere. And then the thrill hit me — more excitement than a parent probably should feel from a pre-K soccer game. I played it cool 'cause I didn't want to be that guy, but inside I'm so proud. Because Darby did everything I asked: he worked hard, he listened to his coach, and he did his best every time out there. And suddenly the effort was paying off. What parent wouldn't be happy to see his kid succeed like that? I started thinking through treats we had at home that Darby might like. Something to let him know he'd done something special and his family noticed.

But Darby was just getting started. He dominated the rest of that game. It was like he'd suddenly stumbled on the winning formula — a ha, that's how you score! — and the rest of the night he just pushed that play as far as it would go. Which was pretty far. Tons of breakaways, at least one more goal, one mystery play that was either a goal or an assist — hard to say who gets the last touch when three teammates are kicking furiously from two feet out. It was only 3-0 at the end, and either he scored every goal or very close to it. He just took over that game.

I talked it up quite a bit, but he took it all in stride — "OK, Dad, can I go play on the swings now?" — but you have to reinforce the stuff he does right, and he's got such a terrific attitude. Funny, all those scoring plays, and all he wanted to brag about was how the other team got no goals.

Erika's been nervous, though, and worried about me overdoing it. We don't want to make Casey feel bad, and we want to make sure we're praising the right things, etc. She's got a point, absolutely. But she also doesn't understand soccer. This really is special! I told her. She's got to realize, scoring goals in soccer is hard. Everybody's working against you, and it takes a tremendous amount of perseverance and energy and luck. I don't want to overdo it either, but at the same time, I played soccer a bunch of years as a kid, and I remember scoring exactly one goal. And I treasure that memory. So, I continued, this really is a big deal. Those might be the only two goals he ever scores! And I want him to remember that I was there and that his family cared and was excited for him.

And of course, the punchline is that since then, Darby has recorded at least a hat trick in every outing.

Tonight his team won 5-3, and Darby had three goals. The kid's just persistent. It's super fun to watch. Lots of other kids out there are taller, and some are way faster. Darby loses lots of races for the ball. But he doesn't get discouraged, and he doesn't pout or give up. I admit, I thought that a strong possibility. But he surprised me. He's steady; he pays attention and pounces on opportunities, and he just keeps getting rewarded for it.

He's got a strong kick (favors his left foot for some reason), and he's good at driving the ball up the field and staying with it while everyone chases him. But what's most amazing to me is how he intuitively shifts his body to keep other players off the ball — and then he gets away with it. He gets caught from behind all the time, but he blocks everybody out and keeps his feet, and no one seems able to reach the ball. They just follow him helplessly, not sure how to get around him to where the ball is.

He looks so tiny out there! He should be getting steamrolled! But you know, he seems to eat continuously. I've wondered once or twice how I'm going to afford groceries when he's 14. So he's a pretty solid kid now. And in the past couple weeks I've seen challengers crash into him and bounce off. It's just silly. I've seen him emerge unharmed from packs of children determined to trip him. I've seen him skip through slide tackles like a pro. I've seen taller, faster kids collide with him on the run while he's got the ball, and when they fall down while he glides away, I cannot believe my eyes. Am I dreaming this? He's just a tank out there.

This should not happen. Delaneys are not built that way.

But he doesn't know that, and I'm not going to tell him. I doubt he'll ride that play style successfully forever, but for now he's doing great, having a ton of fun, and maintaining an excellent attitude. And for the past couple weeks he's had me looking forward to soccer nights, and that's a job very well done.