The kids were passed out by 8:15 tonight, but it was a hard-won victory. We've been building up to this for days while we train Darby to stay in bed willingly. Perhaps tomorrow morning will go better than it did today.
Because today, at quarter to 6, Darby threw the door of his room open and called down the hallway, "Mommy?" My wife, who is perhaps the kindest person I know, groaned menacingly and said, "I hate everyone." These are dark days.
Fortunately, there are bright spots to tide us over. Like drinking. We've been planning for the holidays and just the other night spent some time watching the kids run in circles while we shared visions of fuzzy navels on Thanksgiving. We decided I would be in charge of visiting the liquor store.
Casey, who has radar for this sort of thing, immediately lost all interest in running, giggling, and knocking Darby over. "What's a liquor store?" Oh boy, here we go.
"It's a store where they sell liquor."
"What's a liquor?"
"It's a drink that's just for grownups."
Casey immediately got into character. "I'm going to go to the liquor store and pick up liquors for you!"
"Ooh, I don't think they'll sell you any, buddy. You're too short."
"They're not for ME, Dad, I said they were for YOU." Sometimes, I just don't get it.
"Oh, right, you said that. Well good luck, Casey, let me know how it goes."
Thirty seconds later he returned and announced, "Daddy, I got you seven liquors!"
"Wow, seven! Good job, pal. I usually stop after one or two."
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